Beatings Ah Hoy
by Midna Hytwilian
Summary: It's Halloween, Link and Midna decide to go trick-or-treating. Midna decides to change her costume, thus striking up and idea between the two. Link just might get back at Vaati, this time. Pure crack fic one-shot. Funny.


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Disclaimer: The Legend of Zelda is owned by Nintendo.

A/N: ^_^ Just a Halloween idea I came up with.

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"GET YOUR ASS MOVING, HYTWILIAN!"

"I'm almost done!"

"I don't see the point of trick-or-treating. Most of the time your parents tell you not to take candy from strangers but then today they force you to do so." Vaati muttered.

"Who cares? Free candy." Midna shrugged.

"Midna, do we have to go?" Link asked.

"Hmm, you know you're actually r-"

His face became very pleading until...

"GOT YA! You better work hard, wolf boy!"

"Urgh." His head fell onto the coffee table with a loud thud.

"Wallowing in your grieve, hero?" Vaati snickered.

"Piss off, Wind Mage." Link's muffled voice replied.

Footsteps sounded and a girl dressed as a ghost walked into the living room. Not just any ghost, though. She was a Charlie Brown ghost, complete with black holes. "I'm ready."

Vaati rolled his eyes. "Had trouble making your costume?"

"Isn't it just awesome?" She brightened up. "Okay so I made it easy for you. The candy bags are out in the hall so if you need to refill it'll be easy."

Midna scoffed. "He's a Wind Mage, I think it would have been easy either way."

"Yeah but if he filled it up with Dots or any of that other shitty candy, I'd kill him."

"Good point." The imp nodded.

"Enjoy, Link." The Wind Mage cackled.

"I HATE YOU!" Link called out the door.

Hytwilian, the girl from before, stepped infront of the two on her porch. "Okay, rules. No floating, changing form, or any magic for that matter. Unless you're shapeshifting-NOT IN PUBLIC-then you're not allowed to do it. We'll meet up at Soul's place at ten." She waved them goodbye as she walked off.

The two heroes glanced at each other, Link having to look down as Midna had now lowered herself. "Well don't just stand there, hero! Get moving! We have to get our candy. You are my slave tonight so do as I say."

"Fine, bossy imp." He muttered.

The sound of a slap across the face echoed down the street as kids began to appear, dressed as goblins and other frights.

The two walked up to a house, ringing the doorbell. "Alright, so when they open you have to say 'trick or-treat', got it?"

"Got it." He nodded.

"Trick-or-treat."

"Wow, those are some elabrote costumes." A teenager at about Hytwilian's age stepped outside. "Let me guess...Link and Midna, right?"

The two nodded at the same time.

"Happy Halloween."

"I can't believe he knew us." Midna shook her head. "This world is so damn weird. Anyway, I got three pieces of bubble gum. What'd you get?"

"A lollipop."

"Big swirly kind? I love those."

"Why would they spend so much on a bunch of those?"

"I don't know! This place is weird so they might."

"Well they didn't."

"No need to get snappy, Vaati."

"DO NOT CALL ME VAATI!"

Midna held her hands up in defense as they waited for the next person to answer the door. "Alright, alright, I won't call you Vaati. I'm sorry, Link."

"Trick-or-treat. I don't know why you'd be so cruel." Link looked towards her as the grumpy person filled their bags.

"Happy Halloween." The middle-aged man, muttered.

The imp rolled her eyes as the both of them. "Be happy, it's Halloween. I'm cruel because it's fun."

An hour or so passed as the two trick-or-treated. After much tripping from Midna, the frustrated imp screamed in annoyance. "I'M FREAKIN' FED UP WITH THIS FORM! I CAN'T EVEN WALK RIGHT!"

"Well then we can just go into an alley and have you change." Link suggested.

"I hate alleys but fine. Urgh, perfect time cut out from trick-or-treating."

"It'll take two minutes!"

"TWO MINUTES THAT WE COULD BE GETTING CANDY!"

"You're obsessed with trick-or-treating, you do realize that, right?"

"Shut up."

Now in the alley, the two just stood there. "Well, are you going to do something?"

"Give me a minute to think!"

"Well hurry it up. I want to get back to the house and grab a bottle of water, all of my water's gone now."

"We are not going back to the house! Unless....hmmm...."

With a little spin, Vaati stood in Midna's place, an impish grin on his face. "Good?"

"Are you thinking what I'm thinking?"

"We've got some work to do." Midna smirked.

"How long does that last?"

"Two hours. We've got enough time to get back."

"Good."

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"Trick-or-treat!"

"Yeah yeah yeah, Happy Halloween." Vaati mumbled, pushing the bowl to the kids. "Hey, only one!"

"Aw man."

"Little sneak."

The kids threw him a glare before walking off.

He slammed the door behind him and sat on the couch where a horror movie played on the TV. "Would you lower that?"

"Never. This part is the best." Veran crossed her legs. "Besides, my mother is in this film."

The doorbell rang again. "You get it, this time. Make yourself useful."

"Fuck off."

"Bitch."

She shot an energy blast at him, knocking him into a wall and crashing two book holders down. One broke while the other was perfectly fine. "Damn it." He ignored the two book holders for now and opened the door.

"Trick-or-treat." Link greeted, shoving his bag infront of him.

"Screw you, I'm not handing candy out to you." Vaati hissed.

"Would you hand out candy to me?" An exact replica of his voice asked.

He looked behind Link's shoulder to see himself. "Oh hell no. Piss off, the two of you. Like that was going to scare me."

Just as he was about to close the door, the imp from within Link's shadow jumped out and onto his shoulder. "How's it going, Vaati?" Midna asked.

"If you're here, then who the hell is that?" He cringed.

"I tire of your voice." The copy rolled his eyes. "To Stone With You!"

Vaati let out a squeak and slammed the door behind him.

"You let him have it big time!" Midna high-fived the copy, laughing.

"Nicely done, you two." Link smirked.

"Can you get me back to normal, now?" The copy looked down at himself. "I look weird."

"Fine."

Now standing were two Links.

"Hey, guys, I gotta get back to Soul's place to help her out, mind taking this off?"

"Sure, Hytwilian."

One Link, one Midna, and one Charlie Brown Ghost Hytwilian.

She waved as she walked off, cackling at kids and warding them off from her home. "MORE CANDY FOR ME!"

"I wasn't going to get turned into a statue for her yard!" Vaati's voice protested from inside as Link and Midna walked in.

"You locked the door. Gee, I didn't think that would work." Link teased as he walked into the living room.

"Where is that damn copy?" Vaati looked around, a bit frighteened.

"Hytwilian just left." Midna smirked.

Veran began to choke on her soda. "I always knew you were a moron!"

"Spiderbitch."

Vaati was soon tackled down to the ground by Veran while Link and Midna sat down on the couch, flipping through the channels.

"Hey, Midna, next year we should get Zant."

"Yeah, that nutjob would freak."

As the two sat planning their evil schemes against another villian, Vaati was currently getting his ass kicked by the only female villian from Hyrule. The night went on, eventually resulting in the Wind Mage going to bed early. The two heroes walked to the Halloween party and returned late in the night with Hytwilian.

Halloween had never been so kickass.

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A/N: Pure crack fic oneshot. ANYWAY....

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

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